Anger

Anger issues can be felt and manifested in a variety of ways: outbursts of pent-up anger; getting angry at the slightest provocation; difficulty controlling anger when it is triggered; constant irritability, or feelings of frustration.

In these cases it is useful to learn not only what triggers your anger, but why. "Why" is related to how you perceive what is happening, and what it means to you. Sometimes anger problems are related to constantly feeling unfairly or badly treated, or judged, or to not knowing how to make ourselves understood. When you understand why you get angry, that alone can often go a long way to changing how you look at things, how you feel, and how you react. You can then learn skills that allow you to react differently, in ways that are more effective and productive. This can involve learning skills to manage your feelings, communication skills to better express what you need to say, learning to better understand things from others' points of view, or problem-solving skills.

The goal is to feel empowered to handle things effectively so that anger is neither triggered, nor necessary.

On the other hand, repressed, internalized anger can manifest itself in a range of sometimes surprising ways: chronic lateness; passive aggressive behavior; anxiety; depression; sarcasm; boredom; clenched jaw: restlessness; feeling slowed down; disturbing dreams; frequent sighing.

Sometimes, we are not even aware of this repressed, internalized anger. We are aware – or, perhaps, people in their lives complain about – some of the issues listed above, that are symptoms of this anger. If you find that any of these apply to you, it is useful to ask yourself if you are holding in, or hiding anger about something in your life. Sometimes, just acknowledging this helps to "unblock" the issue, because once you are acknowledging it, you can then deal directly with the issue that is the problem. Sometimes, however, the reason we repress and internalize anger is that we don't know how, or don't feel safe addressing the issue directly. In this case, it is useful to get help to learn the same skills described above: skills that allow you to react differently, in ways that are more effective and productive. This can involve learning skills to manage your feelings, communication skills to better express what you need to say, and problem-solving skills. It can also be useful to get help to understand why you developed the habit of repressing your anger, and to change that pattern.